Semen Retention – A Woman’s View
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Semen Retention – A Woman’s View

December 31, 2019


Hey guys, I’m here with Haley Helveston and she is a… why don’t you tell everyone what you do Haley? Okay, I’m a sexuality empowerment coach. I’m all about empowering you to have healthier happier relationships Fantastic and you work with both men and women, correct? Yes. I do and you’re based in Atlanta Mm-hmm, cool And do you do work most mostly in person with people or do you do work online as well? Mainly online? But I do host workshops – cool. Great. And how long have you been doing this type of work? I Was a health coach and I switched over to this. I’ve probably been doing I’m sexual empowerment coaching for almost nine months Yeah, and are you finding there’s a lot of demand for this kind of work? Yes, definitely. I think a lot of people now I’m super comfortable talking about it, you know, come on when you now go live on IG, but I’m realizing that it’s a big Big demand and there’s a lot of people that are struggling sexually. It’s for them It’s just finding the right resources and finding the right people, you know, yeah. Yeah, definitely So I wanted to talk a little bit about the subject of semen retention. I know this is something we both discussed before and I’m really interested in hearing a woman’s view on semen retention Like if this is something that you encourage men to do or at least, you know regulating their ejaculation Mm-hmm. Definitely. I mean after we went live two weeks ago, right? I think was last week actually. Oh my days are going by fast I Actually do encourage men to do it, but I think it’s you know It’s good hearing from you because you’re a man and they’re like, oh wow You know your skin like I I’m all forit because you can like you’re like glowing with sexual energy right now, you know And it’s you can just tell like after all the research I’ve done like the more I’ve gotten into studying sexuality and sexual energy like it’s just it’s really vital that men learn to Control that and then learn importance of controlling it because I think a lot of me don’t understand absolutely, and there’s so much like, you know doctors tell men that oh, well, if you masturbate every day and eject, they I mean you’ll be healthy, but what I’m finding Is that a lot of these a lot of men are coming to me, you know? They’re in their 40s and 50s and they’re having health issues because they’ve ejaculated so much and they’re they’re really feeling that Depletion from ejaculation. Oh Yeah it’s my skin, too What was that? I said you can tell by their skin. Yeah, it’s true It’s true and they’re their eyes, you know They they just they look like they’re like they’re just a little bit depleted and it’s obvious Yeah, definitely not a woman tell me she they’re probably mid 40s. So that makes sense that they’re coming to you that age And her husband has to take back or every time they want to have sex. Yeah, and that’s that’s very common It’s it’s a it’s a powerful way for well any man, but especially men who are getting up in age to Improve their their sexual ability and recover from all these sexual dysfunctions that have become so common You know as being aware that they don’t need to ejaculate every time they have sex and that they can still have orgasms without ejaculating Yes, definitely I agree with you and I think it’s just that’s why it’s so important with why you and I are about doing because It’s about explaining it and then telling them like this is so importantly you get this now, you know, yeah Yeah, cuz the the earlier on you you’re able to start it, you know the less ingrained you will be with your lifelong habits Yeah, and it’s funny because it it really actually helps you improve your performance what I found is that the more The more you like the longer you’re retaining for you the more you build up this sexual energy and you actually have much much more Orgasmic energy to work with like most men are experiencing extremely weak orgasms when they’re ejaculating Everyday, and when you actually build us energy up and you learn to have non ejaculatory orgasms. It’s such a higher Experience and it’s so much more pleasurable and fulfilling than just, you know, dropping your load and rolling over and falling asleep Yeah, yeah, you can’t even explain it Yeah for sure so I think a lot of men they have this hesitation about practicing retention in a relationship because They think that the woman will think it’s unnatural or strange Yes, I think that all goes back to lack of education Yes I mean, you know, I’m an open book. So I’m constantly telling my guy friends and men that I meet and just everybody about this but I think that Like if the woman is unaware and then the guy starts doing that then yeah would be weird because it’s they both have lack of education around their bodies, but I think if he explains like the importance of it and really the benefits I Think it that’s where it comes in, you know yeah, and I think it’s important that he doesn’t just make it all about himself like oh I’m doing this because I need these things, but it’s it can really bring a couple closer together because they’re able to actually have Better sex the man can last longer because he knows how to control his ejaculation so it really I found can actually really deepen the relationship and then when they learn to Consciously exchange their sexual energy it just it just brings the whole experience of sex and sexual connection to a much higher level. Oh Definitely definitely Mm-hmm. Do you think that a lot of women have sort of an attachment to receiving the man the man semen? Mmm, you know, it’s really weird. I hear like up and down. I hear some woman. They’re like, I really love the feeling of that But then like for me personally, I don’t like that feeling at all You know, I think it really depends on the woman and in the emotional connection between the two people Mm-hmm, and I also think too. It’s the I think that’s like such an intimate thing, you know But I think that Especially, you know if the guy does it too soon and then you’re about to come and then you know It’s like they’re fighting you know that so I yeah, I think it depends on a couple. Yeah, that’s true It is it is different for every person, you know, some men come to me and they’re like, oh well trying to do this but you know my partner she just like really wants my semen, so it’s difficult and You know, I think it’s kind of like this. It’s this physical It’s sort of a sign, you know, it’s like they have this tangible thing like oh, well, I please my partner, you know Because here’s this this physical evidence of that So I think some women are afraid that because he’s not physically a jack thing that he’s not He’s not pleased on some level. So I think communication about this is very important Definitely Oh cuz the woman wants to be sure okay, he’s fulfilled right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah well and I’ve been worrying a lot about the health benefits Ejaculation like the fluid, you know, so Maybe that’s the reason – yeah, that’s true. And I think you know, sometimes there could be a happy medium like, you know Maybe once once a month the man ejaculate or once every two weeks whatever, you know Because some men are able to to have these intervals, you know It’s not necessarily realistic that you’re going to be retaining your semen forever So you can still release at certain intervals during sex and still have all the benefits. So it’s definitely about finding that that balance Yeah sampling. Oh, and I’ve got a question. Do you I was researching it and The guy was saying he does it every he ejaculate every seven days But then I heard do it once a month and then I’m like hearing all these what do you recommend? Yeah, so I recommend I mean based on what I’ve heard Several teachers say and just based on my own experiences. It depends on the age So there’s kind of this like minimum frequency. Like you shouldn’t you shouldn’t ejaculate every more or sir? You shouldn’t ejaculate more than every so many days one formula I got from my teacher is you take your age and you multiply it by 0.2. So for example, I’m 30. So 30 times 0.2. It’s about 6, so it would be about 6 days for me so that means if I ejaculated If I waited at least six days to Jack think that I would optimally recover But if I ejaculated within that six days that I would be in a depleted state So that’s not like bare minimum, but I personally choose to go much longer, but that’s that’s just one example Yes. Yeah, that’s good enough. Yeah, I till I tell most men, you know If you really feel like you want to be ejaculating then, you know every two weeks, you know Maybe or once a week if you’re like really young and healthy if you really feel like you need that Yeah, cuz don’t you think they they get addicted to that feeling? definitely Yeah, definitely. Yeah Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is so There’s sort of this myth. You know that men have much more interest in sex than women. And do you find that true? mmm No, actually it’s so funny, okay, so I’ve had women come to me and they’re like he can’t keep up or Um, why am I the one always initiating? Um and so I think that that’s you that all goes back to lack of sexual education and then and it’s so Frustrating to me because I’m I’m even learning this with myself Like I haven’t even hit where I want to hit sexually because I’m just like, whoa There’s so much to explore and so I think that um like with women it’s just so many women are oppressed and they’re not knowledgeable their bodies and their you know, the like maybe religious shame or guilt or the programming and so Yeah, I actually think women are way more sexual than men. We just have you know, and think about it, too It takes us longer. So if your guy lasts 2 seconds, and then you’re like well, maybe I’m just not Maybe cuz a lot of them didn’t tell me this. Maybe I’m just not one of those ladies that comes during intercourse Mm-hmm Maybe I just can’t orgasm because this isn’t it like there’s a large percent of women that have never experienced an orgasm Is that correct? Yeah, it’s actually huge well and think there’s even more divided between majority of experienced clitoral verse fashion on Because clitoral you know, is that kind like the guys The quick, you know hit but I think it’s it is so sad because I think I mentioned this to you before I’m not sure but I volunteered for Lana your festival last October and at the festival we’re all sitting around the table everybody’s super just like really refreshing how everybody’s open and honest about their sex lives and the lady next to me told me that she was in her 60s and she had just gotten divorced and she Had never had an orgasm Wow Talk about Sad for her because uh It made me sad, but then it also made me angry because I was like man Yeah, you’re right talk about missing out, but it’s also like she has no idea. Mm-hmm It was also really glad that she was at that festival because people are super open like no You know Like the lady next to me is like in a polygamous relationship and the lady across from me was talk about what porn she like Soo is stupid, you know, which is good. She’s in the right place. But yeah, you’re right. It’s crazy Yeah do you do you do you ever Work with women who have low sex drive, like maybe they want to be more sexual but they they just don’t have that desire Yeah Yes, but but again, I think that’s hormonal. I think that’s stress I think it’s maybe I’m supposed to have low libido, you know Like a lady without this is a while ago, and she said ever since I gave birth I’m not I’m not sexual and it had been over a year since she’d had an orgasm And her husband it was like constantly major problems because she got they okay a to have sex again and then after that they just she wasn’t gonna really see a purpose cuz I’m not and And so I think there it’s like the lack the communication between them. They need to work on that But it was also for her it was the program over I think a lot of women deal with the Oh once I’m a mom, maybe I don’t need to be sexual There’s there’s like all these beliefs from motherhood and sex. Yeah And for her to learn a body too because I gave her the her and I was like can you fill it out and send it back to me and one of the questions is how Is your sexual relationship with yourself? And she was like I don’t have one. That’s my husband’s job And so that all goes back to the whole thing about now posted on the spritz lay on Instagram your orgasm is your responsibility But she’s no that’s not my responsibilities. My husband’s So it’s that whole you know, yeah was sad for her because she was slow and then I said you saw pleasure How is yourself? Like do you have a ritual? What do you do just like no, so then that all goes back to the religious staying in it, you know It’s deep stuff it is it’s these sexual wounds and these sexual, you know Blockages are so deep just as as a species really, you know, there’s just so much conditioning and so much oppression around it repression It’s just yeah There’s a really important work what we’re doing. I feel like so So, how do you how do you help these women get their sex drive back at their interest in sex back Women it all goes back to the beliefs but then like But also it’s like okay. I may give you some pleasure homework, you know and so part of that for me that one person we ended up not working together because she was so shut off and so anti touching herself Yeah, and so I said I you have to learn your body to teach him You know, and so that’s the number one is let’s give you a 30-day sub pleasure Ritual and there’s different types of rituals I can give them and then it’s also working on the beliefs around sex and around their bodies and just owning their pleasure Cuz I always love the quote when a woman is empowered in her sexuality and her sexual power In her whole life changes and she actually speaks up for herself. She speaks her truth. I mean everything changes yeah, I mean if you from a woman it’s like My pleasure matters, you know? Yeah Yeah Yeah, I think it’s interesting what you’re saying about how Like these women who were know. Oh, I they’re they’re unfamiliar with with pleasuring themselves, you know, and it’s like there’s so if you have that sort of Like, you know, you’re shy about this area of your body If you don’t want to touch it, then of course, there’s gonna be some you know You’re not going to be ultimately fulfilled in that area. So you have to get to know yourself Yeah, definitely and I think it’s Awesome to many women because think about it men your parts are on the outside I mean Arthur and but it’s also to the program in the conditioning around Like I I even have now even to this day I’ve had friends really close girlfriends run my girlfriend Did you do this? Uh pleasure homework I gave you know It’s like what I’m exerting But yeah, it’s a lot of woman are still really close to it or the whole belief that you know It’s the man’s job and I’m like Lord. Yes. He does have a part in it you coming, but you also have to direct him Yeah, yeah totally so it’s it really, you know, it’s like you have to know what you want before you can expect someone else to Help you achieve that Yeah, definitely and there’s a lot of resistance to around be my pleasure, which is crazy. But then when you like when there’s resistance there’s Something huge under that you know, that’s true. Yeah And then there’s so for men, you know there’s this issue of of Masturbation and because I often you know, I give men these tools of you Basically, if a man wants to let last longer in bed, he has to Train himself, you know They it takes work like anything, you know You just have to practice and get better at and the best way to practice is to be by yourself. So obviously we want to avoid ejaculating so I get many these practices to learn to move they’re aroused sexual energy how they’re gentle tools and defuse it throughout their body and so many men have you know, So with this no fat movement now, which is becoming huge and I think there’s a lot of great aspects to it But unfortunately, there’s a lot of body shame around it as well. Like they’re like, okay Well, like I can’t ever touch my penis again, you know unless I’m having sex with a woman but then it’s like of course If you’re not training this or or if you’re just neglecting this part of your body You’re going to have issues and you’re not going to be able to last longer in bed. So I think you know men and women together, you know, they need to Work on work on their their own pleasure and work on Cultivating that themselves and then when they’re in a relationship with someone else, you know it it’s just incredibly powerful Mm-hmm. Wow. I’ve never heard about that in terms of the men have that’s that makes sense though, cuz I have had some men tell me they’re like I Mean I mean most in general, you know most men aren’t afraid to to to pledge themselves But you know a lot of the guys for coming me because they’ve been doing no FAP and they get all this this This you know, oh, well masturbation is it’s shameful. It’s something I shouldn’t do and for me the problems not masturbation The problem is excessive ejaculation. So I’m just trying to get clear about that with men Yes, I agree with you which all goes back to education man So what are some common problems that your met your men your male clients come to you with not lasting long enough That’s a big one. How do you how do you help them last longer? well, give them techniques like you do but it’s also the belief work – yeah, I mean, you know, I have guys come to me – about the whole um They’re single and they want in your relationship Yeah, and it’s all I manifest my dream partner through sexual energy, okay, yeah Yeah, I think it’s in the whole porn thing to complain into it I’m actually not for porn or Lisa very limited quality speakers. I think that that’s a big problem for people. Yeah, absolutely This is something we’ve talked about before it So, do you have a lot of men coming to you who have porn addictions not as many as I used to okay What what advice did you give the men who did come to you with their porn addiction issue? um, I gave them exercises to do but I do think that it’s Some of them are show extreme I had to like send them to other people. Yeah You know, but it is, you know, I gave them rituals to do and Just like when you feel the need to do that get you know Do something else fit or do like a breath work or we saw a pleasure on your own and use your like? visualization but I do think that it’s It’s also like training yourself to Like look at sex differently Mmm, like glass like I’m even I’ve learned so much through my own work and then through doing this for talking to other people in the industry and I think it’s like I went live with this guy last night and he was talking about a lot of men view sex from the like changing their the male perspective from viewing it from conquering to connection I Love that Yeah, cuz he brought up the whole locker room talk and everything and it’s so And it just doesn’t help me at all and I love that like changing the rewiring over It’s all about connecting the woman in a very deeper Way instead of uh, oh, let’s just go real quick and then, you know roll over Yeah, absolutely for for so many people they’re just completely full probably more at least men anyway But they’re so focused on the physical aspect of sex but sex is this it’s this multi-dimensional You know multifaceted experience. It’s not just a physical connection. It’s a heart connection. It can be a spiritual connection It’s just there’s so many levels of exchange happening So to just focus on this one little aspect of it Which so many men are programmed to do it’s just so limiting and it’s one. I think it’s one of the biggest reasons. Why men? Are unable to experience a higher orgasm because they’re just like oh one I’m stuck down here in my genitals So getting all areas of your being into that that deep connection And do you think that because they’re stuck down here? Do you think it leaves them feeling empty after? Absolutely, absolutely because there’s there’s no heart connection. That’s just you know, they it’s this This impulsive really animalistic desire and then they usually just you know blow out their energy and they never really felt a connection And they just feel drained and empty afterwards Mmm, yes. Yeah. Someone told me that Riesling I thought ooh, it does make sense that you would feel indeed. Absolutely confident So Another another common thing I’m finding is that men who are you know? We have this sort of stereotype about the married couple and they’ve been married for decades and they they only have sex You know once a month if that, you know, so it’s like like some guy left a comment on one of my videos He’s like just get married and you’ll retain lots of semen We have this stereotype about the sexless marriage is this something that you’ve encountered with your clients Yes, I do. But I also think they like it. That’s not funny cuz that’s sad, you know Yeah, I mean I kind of viewed that way a little bit at one point. I remember me like oh, I don’t wanna get married and I do think Emma Nami views it like use sex as a And I know I’m sure you do it the same way. It’s a vehicle for growth and spiritual evolution and so it’s like Let’s use let’s conflate be going deeper and deeper within ourselves and within our relationship sexually Yeah, yeah, so it’s really like, how do we keep this? Interesting? Because I think so many people so many couples. They just get in these routines, you know, they just get Big it’s so used to each other They just kind of lose that that attraction sort of that that polarity that magnetism So it’s about keeping things interesting and keeping, you know keeping attracted to each other basically Yeah, no, definitely I agree with you But I also think it’s like you and you did a different way instead of the whole Which of course maybe this is America, or maybe this is just how the world as a whole now. Um Like oh you came I came by yeah fast food sex, you know and so I think that yeah, it’s like viewing it in a Let’s not rush to orgasm. Let’s focus on You know Like that’s why I love the whole thing about Planning sex dates or pointing dates where it’s just you and your partner where you can really get to especially because I feel like people um You know the whole oh, we don’t have time. Yeah, you have time for words. You have time to watch Netflix Yeah, that’s that’s such a common thing with it. Do I look for this? That’s bullshit watching, you know, I watched two hours of TV every day watch Netflix all night, so I’m like you watched porn for three But yeah, it’s all about changing your perspective and really thinking okay do you like how bad do you want this relationship to work? Mm-hmm. You’re right. I have that couples. Tell me that and I’m like well, I mean But then I’ve also had people tell me to like where and I don’t know maybe if you’ve had this or not But where man will come me? He really wants to hold me He’s like, okay I’m all-in but then the wife isn’t and she’s okay with not really having sex or she’s okay with only having it once month. Yeah They just get used to that Yes, but it’s also the fact that she doesn’t even realize that there’s anything deeper to sex. Mmm You know, and he doesn’t really see that and the benefit. I mean, she’s probably having only clitoral orgasms And so she’s like, what’s the point? Yeah Definitely so it’s like it’s sex. It really becomes like a practice like, okay Well, we’ve got to take some time to do this thinks we can get better at it Yeah, definitely. I mean, that’s the whole thing. I said this before but like We planned everything else. Why would you not plan that I know people think it’s like nah You know a tractor for whatever they won’t like this spontaneous You know, but it’s like I play in my gym sessions I plan my we plan this, you know, you have to plan it. Yeah for sure And that’ll help you be consistent with it. And then yeah, it becomes a great thing Yeah, even woman I’m like ladies. Did you sell pleasure this morning? You told me you were gonna put on your rounder Cool well, do you have any closing thoughts anything anything else you want to? Say, um, well they can contact me My email is Haley harvestin for nine one at gmail.com, or they can follow me on Instagram or YouTube I am Haley Houston. And then I also want to say too that Just any of the women out there that are really struggling like not able to have an orgasm or your you know maybe you see your sex life is not where you thought it would be or want it to be I’m contacting me because I do think that like expression a woman like it’s so much more than you Roz it is and I think that um, It’s just about changing your beliefs about it Yes. Yes, totally So yeah it’s it’s our sexual energy is it’s it’s the foundation of our being and it’s such such a powerful force to work with and a lot of people just kind of put it away in the closet so you can really transform your life and really Take everything to another level when you really have a great relationship with your sexuality. Oh Yeah, definitely. You’re more connected your intuition. And here’s the quote too that I love y’all like if you Don’t know if you don’t speak up in bed. You’re not gonna speak up in the boardroom or something like that Because it’s like, okay so you don’t think your sexual needs matter, why would you think your needs at work matter, you know? Everything is connected. Yeah, I love that awesome Well, thank you so much for joining me Haley. It’s always great talking with you. Yeah, go Follow Haley on Instagram. I’ll put I’ll put your information in the link to this video. So her in the description this video. So yeah I mean, we’ll talk soon. Okay

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  1. I woke up the other night and just HORNY… shit is weird an makes me feel possessed… Very strong urges and I'm finding it difficult to transmute or redirect that energy…

  2. I Found out that Buteyko breathing makes my dragon work harder… I think it's because the nitric oxide, and also the extreme relaxation

  3. On another note, I cannot believe you’re 30. I thought you were no older than maybe 23 or 24. Killin’ it man. What are your thoughts on the idea of making a video on timelines of semen retention? What people can generally expect after 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, 6 months, etc etc.

  4. Yep, totally agree. It's a multidimensional connection. When it's degraded down to just simply a primal physical act for self satisfaction and procreation, that causes so many issues. Sex should be self sacrificial in a sense when your primary desire is your partners pleasure over your own and vice versa.

  5. Great interview. Who else noticed that she's really into our boy here .. magnetically drawn in by semen power! hahahah…..

  6. What a crap load – if men look bad it is due to diet smoking and beer, and nothing to do about spanking the monkey! I have never heard two totally unqualified people talking about this that are this far out bad! What a couple of dumb dumbs. last longer with a full load. hahahaha right. what planet is this guy living on – what wierd questions – dumb and dumber! I can not listen any further.

  7. Wow if a guy can do this I would be super impressed. I would be so intrigued that he wants to do this. My sex drive iß so high I feel/need have an orgasm 2 times a day, I can get super horny that I feel like my clit just aches. so I can masturbate cum once, keep masturbating and cum a second time right away. but if I had a partner the penis is so satisfying I could go every 2/3 days.

  8. Ohk you said the problem is not masturbation it’s over excessive ejaculation

    What man do you know who jacks off and not finish masturbation starts and it ends in ejaculation

  9. this video is informative but it has awkward moments. and what is she drinking? the poor guy has to fill the gaps,to keep the vid interesting. I suspect the lady can't wait to get this vid,her laughs can't hide it. im curious to know whts going through her shady mind

  10. I appreciate the interview but honestly shes a female so she can’t understand what benefits we can gain, the process! You should of asked her how woman are attracted to men because she will never understand what it is to be a “MAN!”

  11. If the majority of men started having orgasms and not ejaculating, women would lose their minds.

    Never ever take relationship or sex advice from a woman, as a man. She is completely wrong about women being more sexual than men. A healthy Man has over 15 times the testosterone of a woman. Sex for men is always on, woman want more sex at different points of their cycle.

  12. 3 days nofap streak …. balls are heavy full, dick gets hard like metal in seconds around women … i think its frustrating actually

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